8 Subtle Signs Your Marriage is Falling Apart
5 Signs Your Marriage Isn't As Strong As You Think It Is
Got big news? Something stressing you out that you really need to get off your chest? If you don't think to share it with your spouse first, then there is something amiss in your connection. "Couples obviously need to share the minutiae of day-to-day life to keep their home functioning," says Cohen, "but what really strengthens the relationship is the deeper conversations about what's happening in their lives." Couples in thriving relationships engage in emotional self-disclosure and want to remain intimately connected to each other's inner worlds. (Speaking of intimacy, there's good reason this remote-controlled couples massager is ridiculously popular....)
Remember how we said that just because you're not arguing doesn't mean you're actually happy? "This usually means the person is so disengaged that they won't even fight anymore," says Cohen, who points out that arguing is a good indicator of investment in the relationship (in fact, here are 6 fights every happy couple should have). Ask yourself: Is a happy marriage worth fighting for?
Hopefully, the answer is yes, and all you have to do is up the positivity factor—immensely. "Start by being grateful and noticing how great your life is with your partner," says Cohen. Take a step back and look at the routine things that you've taken for advantage. And start creating a culture of gratitude by saying thank you for everything." Thank your partner for taking out the trash, for looking hot on date night, or even for folding the laundry. "It feeds their ego—and they will probably start being more appreciative of you," says Cohen.
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