लड़कीओ के सामने शर्माना कैसे बंद करे ? How To Overcome Shyness In Front Of Girls ? 4 Practical Tips

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How to Overcome Shyness with Girls

Three Parts:

Shyness can be a debilitating condition for many boys and men, especially when it comes to girls. If shyness has kept you from meeting someone special, read the following steps to see how you can overcome it.


Taking It Slow

  1. Give yourself a break.Don’t expect to overcome shyness 100% or overnight. Most of the people you meet and talk to have some level of shyness in different situations, too. Shyness is not black and white but on a continuum, so don’t be too hard on yourself, especially when you’re just starting out on your journey of overcoming shyness.
    • A lot of other people are working to overcome shyness, too; you just can’t tell.
    • If you make a blunder, forget about it. Most people are more forgiving than you think.
    • Each time you talk to someone, be proud that you gave it a try.
  2. Practice with a friend.When you can practice with someone you feel safe with, you can immediately get feedback and also be rewarded with praise for your efforts. This will go a long way to increasing your confidence.
    • Practice making eye contact but not staring, having confident body language, making introductions, and asking questions.
    • Practice smiling while engaging in conversation.
    • Practice with a male or female to start. Practice in front of the mirror, too.
    • When you’re ready, practice taking a female on a date – ask your girl cousin if she’ll play the role so you can hone your social skills. Practice Complimenting her.
  3. Take baby steps.Treat dating and shyness like a 12 step program. Start with a smile; show everyone you're friendly and approachable. Then, move up to saying "hi." A few days after that, engage in small talk. Keep going as you gradually open yourself up to people.
  4. Develop compassion.Being compassionate is caring about other people’s happiness and putting your focus on them. Compassionate people care less about the attention being centered on themselves. The more you care about other people, the less concerned you are with how they see you, allowing you to relax in their presence and be better company
    • One way to practice compassion is to reach out to someone who looks like they're lonely. Ask them for a coffee or eat your lunch with them.

Part 1 Quiz

What is the very first step to overcoming shyness?

Becoming More Confident

  1. Let things roll off your back.If you want to succeed in friendship and romance, you can't take every comment or joke as a personal affront. People sometimes say things they don't mean and you also might misinterpret what they’re saying.
    • Self-blaming or exaggerating your faults can only harm your heart and your chances of meeting that great girl!
  2. Learn to face rejection.Great boxers go in the ring knowing there's a chance they'll lose. Similarly, you can't expect to succeed every time. No one is a 100% match and not everyone will get along. Instead, view every encounter with a woman as a positive learning experience.
    • By putting yourself out there and being rejected, you’ll realize that being rejected isn’t the end of the world.
    • You’ll never succeed if you don’t try. Not asking means never getting that first date!
  3. Be less self-conscious.Shyness and hesitation occur when you think about your flaws. Instead, focus your thoughts entirely on the woman you're talking to. You'll forget about your jitters and she'll be flattered by the attention.
    • Remember that most people you meet are too busy worrying about what others think about them to really notice and judge you.
    • Look around and realize that people aren’t laughing at you or judging you.
  4. Cope with social anxiety.Conquer your fears of speaking to girls socially by building your confidence. Training similar to cognitive behavioural therapy can guide you through confidence-building exercises and you can attend groups or personal counselling, or use an app to do it on your own.
    • There are also that can inspire you and give you hints.
    • Practice using real-life situations and measure your shyness and anxiety before and after. You’ll see that your shyness and anxiety decrease as you practice more and your confidence increases.

Part 2 Quiz

What is the best way to be less self-conscious?

Becoming More Comfortable in Social Situations

  1. Get out and socialize.Join activities that you are interested in and in which you're always interacting with people, such as a team sport or a hobby club.
    • By having to interact with your teammates, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to practice conversing.
    • Get to know your teammates slowly over time and become more at ease chatting with them.
    • Seek a role in the group, such as timekeeper or note taker. When you have a task to fulfill, it takes some of the pressure off chatting.
  2. Initiate conversation.Try some icebreakers such as mentioning you’re in the same biology class or that you really like her cool purse.
    • When you are out with your friends or family, try to initiate conversation within the group. After a while you'll become comfortable engaging people in a casual manner.
  3. Talk to someone who is alone.Chances are, she will be happy to have someone else to talk to.
    • Helping a girl have a good time at a party that she was dreading will not only increase your confidence but make you feel good for helping someone out.
  4. Talk to a lot of people.Don't be afraid to chat up everyone you meet, from the senior doing her groceries to the bank teller. Practice makes perfect and the more outgoing you are, the more comfortable you will become.
    • Slowly increasing your efforts to talk to new people is what psychologists would call graded self-exposure and is a common technique in overcoming fears.
  5. Be real.Be yourself. Many girls are good at spotting braggers and show-offs and those types can be a turn off. Girls do tend to like funny guys who are just being themselves.
    • Don't worry about a clever opening line. Though they might work on TV, most girls think they’re cheesy. Instead, start by introducing yourself and ask her how her day is going.
  6. Learn to listen.Don't do all the talking. Ask open-ended questions and just sit back and listen. If the conversation lulls, have new conversation topics ready.
    • Try not to monopolize the conversation talking about yourself because she might not be interested in all the same topics as you.
    • Ask her questions and show that you’re really listening by asking additional questions that build on what she just told you. For example, if she mentions going away with her parents for the weekend to their cottage, don’t start talking about the cottage you went to last weekend but instead ask her more about the cottage or her parents.
    • Respond appropriately. Don’t just make it 20 questions. If she asks about you, answer her.
  7. Go somewhere interesting on a date.If you are fearing the conversation part of a first date, go to a movie or other activity first so you have something mutual to discuss afterwards.

Part 3 Quiz

What should you do if you're uncomfortable in a social situation?

Community Q&A

  • Question
    There is a girl at my school and I want to talk to her, but I don't know what to say. What can I do?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Ask her a question about school, or ask her to help you with something you don't understand in homework. In time, she will probably start opening up and talking to you. Don't let her start the conversation, and try to act confident.
  • Question
    I know what to talk about and how to start a conversation with a girl, but I am very shy. What should I do to be able to talk to this girl?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Do your best to relax and pretend it's one of your friends and just start the conversation like that.
  • Question
    I love a girl, but whenever I see her I get very shy. I want to talk to her and be friends with her, what should I do?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Just be funny and if you do something wrong, try just point it out, take this for an example, say you dropped your books, then just say "Oops! Well, didn't mean to do that!" and try to make her laugh. Be yourself. It will only workout if she likes you for you.
  • Question
    I am okay when talking to girls, but not my crush - what should I do?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Talk to her friends to find out what she likes, and start a conversation with her about that topic. If you can befriend her on social media, you can interact with her this way, and gradually work onward to private messages, which may make you more comfortable with her during face-to-face conversations.
  • Question
    How do I approach a girl I like if I'm very shy?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Remember that not only you feel shy, the girl you like also will feel it too. What you need to do is ask simple question, like how's your day, where is the nearest cafe, what time is it, how to go to..., etc.?
  • Question
    How can I think of things to say to keep a conversation going longer?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Comment on your surroundings, ask an open ended question and pay attention to her answers to come up with other ideas.
  • Question
    I should I approach a girl I like who just broke up with her boyfriend?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Not right away. She might be upset about the breakup and might not be ready yet for another relationship. Give it some time and become better friends with her. Ask her out in a few months.
  • Question
    How do I talk to a girl who is shy when she sees me?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Just be nice and not intimidating or pressuring. Smile, say hi, ask her how she's doing, and say whatever else you want to say.
  • Question
    I am not too shy to talk to a girl, but I don't know where to start the conversation. What should I do?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Just go and say hi! Then, go with the flow. Use your surroundings - weather, trends, news, best cafe, best restaurant, etc.
  • Question
    How do I talk to a girl without interrupting the group she's with?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Talk to the whole group, but focus a bit more on the one girl.
Unanswered Questions
  • I am shy towards public. How to get rid of it?
  • How do I overcome shyness when I like a girl who likes me back?
  • I don't know anything about her. But, I get to see her almost everyday. How should I begin the conversation with her?
  • What can I do if I am not shy when I talk to girls via social media, but I can't overcome my shyness in person?
  • I love a girl and she also love me but sometimes it seems that she is not interested on me. So what do I do to make her more and more attractive towards me and make her happy?
Ask a Question
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The best way to overcome shyness with girls is focus on your strengths, rather than your flaws. Prepare yourself to face rejection and learn from each experience. Let things roll off your back, rather than taking them too seriously.

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